


Duality

by ZedElla (Leviarty)



Series: The Story of Lorne [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 01:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4502805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leviarty/pseuds/ZedElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being trapped in McKay’s body is a punishment he wouldn’t wish on anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duality

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during and around Duet

It had begun years ago, before the Stargate was a blip on either of their radars. They were stationed together in… Kuwait, maybe? Evan wasn’t quite sure; it had been too many years ago, too many deployments. Evan thought it was kind of a miracle they’d found each other – with a mutual itch to scratch, looking for the same thing. It wasn’t often he found another queer guy in the force, not with all the regulations that prohibited them from saying anything.

They served together a few times after that, until Lorne got invited to the SGC, and Sheppard got sent to Afghanistan. It was bogus, Evan knew; John was a hell of a lot smarter than he was, and a better pilot too. But reassignment was based almost entirely on the recommendation, and Evan had always been better at falling in line, staying just under the radar, where John had excelled at talking back and toeing the line of regulations.

Evan couldn’t remember how long ago it started.

But he was sure it would end today.

*

Caughlin was sick, had come down with some alien equivalent of the common cold, which is the only reason Cadman was on the mission in the first place. They split up at the gate, and Evan thought it was quite telling that Sheppard put Laura in charge of looking after two civilians – he could play it off has hassling the new guy (McKay being as difficult as he was), but he knew the Colonel wouldn’t put any civilian with someone he didn’t trust, and certainly not McKay or Beckett.

Whatever faith her reputation has earned, can’t have been worth what happened next.

Being trapped in McKay’s body is a punishment he wouldn’t wish on anyone.

*

He was freaking out, more than a little, but not quite a lot. He doesn’t let much of that show.

“You know, I saw him running last night?” Parrish said, stuffing his face with something like mashed potatoes. “Gave me a friendly little wave and everything. It was the strangest thing. Of course, that was before I realized Laura was in there.”

 “I don’t know if I can handle my best friend being stuck in his body,” Evan said candidly.

“Hey, I thought I was your best friend,” Parrish said, feigning hurt. “But I’m sure Dr. Zelenka will figure it out. He quite smart.”

“McKay doesn’t have much faith in him.”

“Rodney doesn’t have faith in much of anyone but himself. His giant ego clouds his ability to see others for who they are.”

Evan laughed a little, but still didn’t feel much better about the situation. Cadman was stuck in the body of Rodney McKay, and he couldn’t find any bright side to that scenario.

*

He didn’t hate McKay. He wasn’t his biggest fan, and the man annoyed him to no end, but he didn’t hate him.

But he knew the statistics. At the end of the day, someone was going to die, and it was never McKay.

He wasn’t even really tipsy when he said as much to David. And he felt terrible the instant he said it, was grateful it was Parrish and not Sheppard he’d gone drinking with. Sheppard might never have forgiven him for it.

He didn’t love McKay, but he knew John did, though he didn’t know why. But why did Sheppard’s team get to make it out of damn near everything – a dozen plus near death situations, and only one MIA to date – while everyone else had to die? Why did the universe seem to favor them, and carelessly toss anyone else to the side?

“There’s no accounting for taste,” Evan said, but if the look David was giving him was any indication, he hadn’t said the rest of his though process aloud.

Evan smiled toothily and leaned over, pressing wet lips against David’s. His aim being a little off, he adjusted and tried again.

“I think you’ve had quite enough to drink, Major,” Parrish said against him. He felt the bottle slip from his fingers, and fumbled to catch it before realizing it wasn’t falling, it was taken from him.

“Boo,” Evan said, throwing his lower lip in a pout.

Parrish stood up from the couch. “I should be leaving. Are you well enough to take care of yourself?”

Lorne waved and nodded. “M fine. Not even that drink.”

“Yes, of course you’re not. I’ll send someone from medical come check on you soon.”

“Can I have another kiss before you go?”

“Major-”

“Pleease?”

David sighed, then leaned down to meet his lips again. Evan pressed the issue, holding him in place with a firm hand, before finally releasing him.

Evan didn’t remember any of it in the morning.

*

Cadman lived.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, clutching her hand on the sterile bedsheets. He didn’t voice all the things he’d been thinking, didn’t say he thought he’d never see her again. Those thoughts he kept to himself; they didn’t serve any purpose.

“Me too,” she said, smiling back at him. “Remind me not to go offworld with them ever again.”

They both knew that wasn’t an option, knew that their time was borrowed. If not today, then tomorrow their end would come. Evan hoped it was many tomorrows for them both.

*

The sex was good – god, the sex was always good – but he could see that John’s heart just wasn’t in it.

“So we should stop doing this,” Evan said.

“Probably a good idea,” Sheppard agreed. “Especially with Caldwell lurking around, just waiting to catch me in a good fuckup. He’d love this, wouldn’t he? Perfect opportunity to kick us both back to Earth, take over the city for himself.”

It wasn’t exactly the point Evan was getting at, but it was as good as any. When they were both majors, this thing was no big deal – well, not _no_ big deal, it was still a pretty dangerous act – but with Sheppard in charge and Lorne his 2IC, it certainly was asking for trouble.

But if that was all it was? He could have dismissed it. They were a million light years away, in a place most of the military had no idea even existed, and he expected that Elizabeth would protect John to the ends of the Earth.

But Evan wasn’t too fond of fucking guys whose hearts were elsewhere. Even if he and McKay weren’t involved (and even if he couldn’t see why John felt as he did), he didn’t take kindly to being a substitute.

Lorne wasn’t in love with him, so ending it wasn’t an ordeal; it was like cutting out your favorite food because you knew it was bad for you (he knew there was some irony in that analogy, almost laughed about it). It had taken some time, but before long, he hadn’t even missed the taste of soda, and Sheppard would be no different. They had always been friends and colleagues first, lovers second.

He could only hope that it would be an easy transition.


End file.
